


Forget me nots

by definitelynotinlovewithyamaguchi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fictional Disease, Forget Me Not, I cried writing this, M/M, Memories, Pining Iwaizumi Hajime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 13:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelynotinlovewithyamaguchi/pseuds/definitelynotinlovewithyamaguchi
Summary: Unrequited love is a bitch.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 13





	Forget me nots

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance

_ Oikawa Tooru _

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t remember much of him. Only a few memories. He knew he was his best friend, and he was in love with him. He doesn’t know his birthday or his favorite color. Those few memories are all he has left of Oikawa Tooru. 

The doctors told me Hajime that he has the "Forget me Not" disease. It’s caused by unrequited love. Iwaizumi fell in love with someone who would never love him back. There's no known cure, everyone who had it is dead. He’ll lose all his memories of Oikawa, and then die. 

_ Stupid Oikawa, always ruining my life. I could've had decades left if my dumbass didn't fall in love with him. But I don't want that. Being in love with him has made my life so much better. The real problem here is unrequited love. Unrequited love is a bitch. ,  _ Iwaizumi thought bitterly. 

_ ~ _

_ "You're such a bitch", Iwaizumi has known that he is in love with Oikawa for 2 months now. And everytime a girl confesses to him, his heart speeds up and he prays that Oikawa doesn't accept the confession.  _

_ "And how I am a bitch, Iwa-chan?"  _

_ "You rejected that girl so harshly. She ran away crying, y'know?"  _

_ "I wasn't that harsh. I was blunt, can't be giving her false hope."  _

_ 'You're always giving me false hope', Iwaizumi thought bitterly, "You stood there and said, and I quote, 'Yeahhh, no.'" _

_ "Well what was I supposed to do? Say 'Oh, I'm sorry but I don't like you like that. Maybe try someone else'"  _

_ "I swear, you are hopeless.", sighed Iwaizumi. He couldn't even begin to imagine how he would be rejected. Oikawa would probably start it off with 'Iwa-chan, I'm flattered but...' just thinking about it hurts.  _

_ "So mean, Iwa-chan"  _

_ "That's what I was going for."  _

_ "I hate you" , Oikawa pouted. 'Oikawa looks cute when he pouts', Iwaizumi thought. He would never say that out loud though, wouldn't want to inflate his ego anymore than it already is.  _

_ "Lies, lies, lies. You should stop lying Shittykawa"  _

_ "How do you always know when I'm lying? It's like a superpower or something!"  _

_ "It's not a superpower, it's called being your best friend. If I couldn't read you easily, then I don't have the right to call myself your best friend", Iwaizumi shocked himself with that answer, he didn't mean to sound so sappy.  _

_ Oikawa stared at Iwaizumi in shock for a second before quickly composing himself and jumping onto Iwaizumi to hug him. "I always knew you loved me!", Oikawa pulled apart and smiled at Iwaizumi. And not his practiced smile, but his real one where it's a little lopsided and he has wrinkles around his eyes. Iwaizumi loved that smile more than anything, well besides Oikawa himself. Iwaizumi thought to himself, ‘Of course I love you, you big idiot _

_ ~ _

Such a simple memory, but one of the only memories he has left of him. It’s sad, really.

Iwaizumi has been in the hospital for 2 weeks now. He was pulled from school when the physical symptoms started to appear. At first it was just constant headaches, but it gradually got worse. He’s on oxygen now. It’s gotten to that point. 

Oikawa hasn’t visited him yet. Iwaizumi thinks that he's still upset about himhaving to quit volleyball. But it’s not like he could help it. Iwaizumi just wishes he would visit him.

_ I want to at least confess before I die. Don’t want to die a pussy _ . 

Hajime wishes he could go play volleyball. He misses the team. He misses Oikawa more.  _ God, Oikawa. Volleyball was his life, I can’t imagine how he feels now that his ace is gone _ .  _ Look at me, I’m dying yet I’m still thinking about Oikawa. Stupid Oikawa.  _

_ ~ _

_ They had just lost to Karasuno. They won’t be going to Nationals. ‘Oikawa must be feeling devastated right now’, Iwaizumi thought sadly. Yeah, Iwaizumi is sad but volleyball wasn’t his entire life. Oikawa on the other hand… _

_ “Hey Iwa-chan?” Oikawa was now walking besides Iwaizumi. His eyes were red and puffy.  _

_ “Yes, Oikawa?”, Iwaizumi felt like now was not the time to be using a nickname.  _

_ “Is it my fault? Was I not good enough? I wasn’t good en-”, Iwaizumi put his hand up and interrupted Oikawa, “You were amazing. Nothing could’ve changed that. It’s just that Karasuno had a better team than us. It had nothing to do with you”  _

_ Oikawa looked up from where he was staring at the ground, “You really mean it?” _

_ “Of course I meant it.”  _

_ Oikawa walked up to Iwaizumi and hugged him. He sobbed into Iwaizumi’s jacket. “There there. It’ll be okay”, Iwaizumi patted Oikawa’s back before tightly hugging him back.  _

_ ~ _

Iwaizumi still remembers what happened afterwards. They went back to Oikawa’s house and watched those shitty alien documentaries. Oikawa always looked so engrossed while watching them. He had that shining look in his eyes, commentating here and there. Iwaizumi remembers looking at Oikawa and feeling a surge of love. 

_ It was never supposed to be like this.  _ He was supposed to live the rest of my life. Maybe one day confess, and move on. He was never supposed to get this god awful disease. Life wasn’t supposed to end up like this. He shouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed. He should be out there in school, hanging out with Oikawa, playing volleyball trying to deafest Ushiwaka. 

“Why? Why me? Out of all the people, you chose me.”, He wanted to yell at the heavens.  _ I shouldn’t have to live like this. I’m only a teenager. What did I do to deserve this?  _

Hajime had been trying so hard to hold in the tears, but now they’re just falling. 

_ It’s just so unfair.  _

_ ~ _

  
_ OIkawa was at Iwaizumi’s house, currently sobbing. His girlfriend had just broken up with him. Personally, Iwaizumi didn’t like her, but he would never say it out loud. Oikawa said that they broke up because he was too focused on volleyball. ‘Bitch, you knew this when you started dating him. Don’t date him when you know volleyball is his entire life”, Iwaizumi was furious. He felt murderous.  _

_ “Hey, Iwa-chan?”, Oikawa said between sobs.  _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Am I- am I a horrible person?”  _

_ Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa in shock. ‘How could he think this?’, Iwaizumi thought angrily.  _

_ “No, you are not a horrible person.”, Iwaizumi said this with such softness, that Oikawa stopped sobbing for a second.  _

_ “Then why did she break up with me?”, Oikawa had leveled his breathing, but the tears kept flowing.  _

_ “Because she hated seeing you being happy.” _

_ “Huh?” _

_ “Volleyball makes you happy and if she can’t handle that, then good riddance to her”, Iwaizumi still felt murderous, but with Oikawa looking at him he felt a little less angry.  _

_ “Iwa-chan….”, Oikawa then grabbed Iwaizumi and hugged him so tightly that Iwaizumi was in pain, “Can we go lay down?” _

_ At those words, Iwaizumi blushed, but it was barely noticeable. “S-sure” _

_ Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand and took him to his bedroom. They then lied down, with Oikawa lying in Iwaizumi’s arms. Oikawa fell asleep as soon as Iwaizumi hugged him. ‘All that crying must’ve been exhausting’, Iwaizumi thought fondly.  _

_ Iwaizumi then moved Oikawa’s bangs from his face and thought, ‘Wow, he looks ethereal’. Iwaizumi’s next thought shocked him even more, ‘I love him’ _

_ Iwaizumi was internally freaking out. Rightfully so, he just realized that he was in love with his best friend. His best friend, who just got broken up with. It slightly hurt to think about that, but Iwaizumi didn’t care. All he cared about was that he finally was able to give that feeling a name.  _

_ ‘Love’, Iwaizumi thought happily before falling asleep.  _

_ ~ _

That memory probably hurt the most out of all of them. It was the night Iwaizumi realized he had fallen in love with his best friend. _ I wonder if I had told me that night, would this still happen?  _ There isn’t much information on this disease, so we’ll never know. 

What was the point of this disease? To be a painful reminder that my love will never be reciprocated? It’s such a tragic disease. Forget all your memories of them while your health deterioates, and then you die. And it happens so quickly. In a matter of a couple of weeks, you’ve started having physical symptoms. 

He barely has any memories left of Oikawa.

_I don’t want to forget about him. He’s my best friend, I shouldn’t forget my best friend._ _What will I say when he visits me? I can barely remember what he looks like. It’s like all I have left of him is these painful memories that I’ll lose in a week or so._

_ When I die, what will he feel? Will he feel guilty, sad, depressed? God, I hope he doesn’t become depressed. That’s the last thing I would want to happen. Oikawa doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this.  _

_ Knock knock _

_ Oh _ , Iwaizumi thought,  _ my mom is probably coming to visit me. _

“Come in”, he says, but it’s barely above a whisper. He doesn’t have the energy to speak louder so he just hopes that whoever is out there heard him. 

“Hey, Iwa-chan”, at the sound of that nickname, Iwaizumi turned his neck so fast that he got whiplash, “Sorry that I haven’t visited you. I was with my girlfriend. She kinda didn’t want me to come visit you.” 

_ His girlfriend…. The reason I’m in this mess. _ Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t blame her, yet he can’t help it. If she never showed up then maybe he wouldn’t have to be suffering like this. 

“Oh, it’s okay. How are you?”, he tried to suppress the anger in his voice, but it still came off harsh. 

“How am I? You’re d-”, Oikawa had to take a deep breath. It looked like he was trying not to start crying, “You’re dying and you’re asking me? How sweet, Iwa-chan.” 

“Shut up, Oikawa”

“Oikawa? Not Shittykawa?”, Iwaizumi never heard of that nickname. He looked confused, so Oikawa continued, “Dumbkawa? Loserkawa? You don’t remember any of those god awful nicknames?” 

“Oh- uh no? Sorry.” 

Oikawa’s expression changed for a quick second. To what, Iwaizumi doesn’t know. 

“Iwa-chan, the hospital has taken a toll on your memory. You’re like a grandpa, always forgetting something” 

“Yeah, I’ve been in here for what? A couple of weeks? You haven’t even visited me until now….” Hajime wanted to cry. Why couldn’t he just disregard his girlfriend and come visit him, his best friend. 

“Sorry ‘bout that. Y’know Ichika, always wanting to be near me. And I mean who could blame her? Look at me.”, Oikawa struck a pose. He looked stupid. 

“You look stupid. And… it’s okay. I forgive you.”

“Everytime I tried to come visit you, Ichika always came up with something for me not to go. I think she might be jealous.” 

“Jealous? Of me? Oh please, we’re just friends” 

“Yeah… friends. Best friends since childhood” 

_ Friends.  _ That’s all Iwaizumi will ever be to him. It hurts, hurts more than any pain he’s ever experienced. 

_ ~ _

_ “Iwa-chan!”, Oikawa ran towards Iwaizumi with some girl next to him.  _

_ “Huh? What do you want Shittykawa?”  _

_ “Iwa! This is Ichika, my girlfriend!”, Iwaizumi felt his heart break at that. A girlfriend? When did this happen? And more importantly why didn’t he tell him? _

_ “You have a girlfriend Sh- Oikawa?”, Iwaizumi felt like he was forgetting a name. An important nickname for Oikawa. ‘Oh well, couldn’t have been important if I was able to forget it so easily’  _

_ “Hi Iwaizumi-san”, Ichika was quite a beautiful girl. Short brown hair, dyed purple at the ends. Big brown eyes concealed behind glasses. Freckles dotting her face. If Iwaizumi wasn’t gay as fuck, then he might’ve found her attractive.  _

_ “Hello. Ichika, was it?”, she nodded at that.  _

_ “Now that you’ve been introduced. I was wondering if Ichika-chan could join us at practice today!”  _

_ “She plays volleyball?” She doesn’t look like a volleyball player, yet neither does that Hinata fron Karasuno.  _

_ “Yes. I’m a wing spiker!”, the exact same position as Iwaizumi. ‘Is Oikawa trying to replace me? No, that's impossible. We play on the boy’s volleyball team, and Ichika is a girl.’ _

_ “Yeah, she can join us.” _

_ “Yay, thanks Iwa-chan!”  _

_ ~ _

That memory… hurt so much. The day Iwaizumi found out that the man he’s in love with, will never be his. And the day that horrible disease probably started.  _ It’s so un-fucking-fair that one person could ruin my entire life.  _

_ Ring ring _

“Sorry, Iwa-chan. It’s Ichika, gotta take this” 

Of course, his girlfriend comes before his dying best friend. Iwaizumi couldn’t help thinking, he’s upset, rightfully so. I mean he’s dying for fucks sake and Oikawa just goes and puts Ichika first. 

“No! Ichika, I’m sorry but….”,  _ Huh? What’s happening out there. Are they arguing? _ Iwaizumi knows he probably shouldn’t be feeling happy over that, but what can he say? He’s in love with Oikawa Tooru. 

Oikawa walks back into the room, looking angry. “Sorry ‘bout that.” 

“It’s okay. You can leave if you want.”, Iwaizumi really doesn’t want him to leave. 

_ Please say no. Please…  _

“Oh, thank you Iwa-chan. I’ll be back tomorrow . I promise!” 

And then he left… 

Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn’t see him again for a week. 

Iwaizumi is laying down, in so much pain. He can barely breathe. Oikawa promised he would be back, but he never came.  _ Stupid fucking Ichika. Taking away my best friend while I’m dying. The last thing I’ll ever be able to say to him was “You can leave if you want”. Why did I say that? God I’m so stupid.  _

He’s lying in bed, trying to breathe when all of sudden someone walks in. He barely has the strength to sit up and see who it is. 

“Hey Iwa-chan” 

Oikawa… he came back? After a fucking week? 

“H-hey”, it hurts so much. Can the pain just end?  _ Please..  _

He can barely breathe, it hurts to talk, it hurts to move. The only release of pain is when Iwaizumi is granted is when he is sleeping, but then he’s plagued with the face of Oikawa. 

“Sorry it took so long for me to come back”

“What took you so long?”, Iwaizumi knew the answer.  _ His girlfriend probably wanted him to stay away.  _

“Oh you know, Ichika wanted me to stay away. She actually didn’t want me to come today, but your mom told me you’re dying soon and I wanted to see you one last time.” 

Iwaizumi looked at the man in my room. He couldn’t recognize his face. He seemed so familiar yet so strange. But man was he beautiful. An Angel, really. 

“I’m sorry… but who exactly are you?” 

The strange man looked at Hajime with a face of realization which was quickly replaced with a face of sadness. 

“I’m no one, Iwa-chan. I’m just visiting you.” 

At those words Hajime felt so sick. He couldn’t breathe, it felt like the walls were closing in. The strange man came over to him and held my hand. He had tears streaming down his face. Why was he crying? 

“Hey, don’t cry. It’ll mess up your beautiful face.”, he shakily lifted his hand up and wiped the man’s tears away. 

And then the pain was gone and Iwaizumi Hajime’s world turned black. 

~ 

Oikawa stood next to his best friend. His best friend who just died because of him. Oikawa sobbed and sobbed because how dare Iwaizumi leave this world. 

When he finished he wiped his tears and placed a quick kiss on his best friends cold lips. His lips, which are cold because of him. Oikawa quickly stood up and walked to the door, but before he left he turned towards the body of his ace, vice captain, and best friend since childhood and said, 

_ “Goodbye Hajime. I love you”  _

And then he was gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually a work a wrote about a year ago and I decided to edit it and post it. Most of it is the same, but the original had a happy ending. >:)


End file.
